Man muss das nicht lesen, wenn man all das Gewese um die Auflösung von R.E.M. gar nicht versteht. Aber weil ich persönlich ungefähr 237 Leute kenne, die seit zwei Wochen ähnlich traurig sind wie ich, kommt hier mein letzter Abschied von R.E.M. – jetzt aber wirklich. (Ist englisch, weil all die Songtexte und die Erinnerungen eben auch englisch sind.)

LIFE AND HOW TO LIVE IT – WHAT I LEARNED FROM R.E.M.

Peter Buck once said: “In a world that doesn’t make any sense, you have to make your own sense.” That’s harder than it sounds, so in the past decades I sometimes relied on R.E.M. for help. They seemed to know what they are doing, they hardly made mistakes – music wise and as human beings in the spotlight. They started as geeks in a small town and ended up being the best rock band in the world. On the way they showed us how that can be done without losing your integrity, without becoming a business instead of a band, and without looking stupid (except in that video, I know). Peter Buck never lost his wit, Mike Mills never lost his smile, Michael Stipe never lost his sensitivity. Bill Berry never lost his place in the band although he left in 1997. He was not replaced, they remained friends. Bertis Downs is the only manager I’ve ever met that seriously seemed to care about his band as much as about money or fame, just like everyone in the R.E.M. camp seemed to hold their love-me-or-leave-me high. In all these years I have learned a lot from this band and the way they handled their lives and career, and these are a few of those things. (I know you must never quote Michael’s lyrics and apply them to his or their real lives, but applying them to my own should be allowed, right? Right!)

“A perfect circle of acquaintances and friends”

If you live in a difficult world, surround yourself by people you trust. The more R.E.M. associates I met, the more I realized: Many of these people have been around for years and years. Not only Bertis who was their lawyer from beginning on, then their manager (after whatever happened with the first one, Jefferson Holt. Another lesson: If R.E.M. do not want you to know something, you’ll never find out. They are a bit like the mafia, no one talks if they agreed not to talk.), but also tour personnel, the people in the Athens office – while in the music business fluctuation seemed to be the only constant, R.E.M. remained a perfect circle. (See also: “We could gather, throw a fit…”)

“Heaven is yours where I live”

I went to Athens once (yes, “Pilgrimage”, laugh now, please!). I arrived on the day Bill Berry quit the band. No kidding. A guy from Olivia Tremor Control slammed the local newspaper on the table, headline: “Drummer leaving R.E.M.” I was dumbstruck. The first scene that came to my mind: R.E.M. being interviewed, Michael saying “If one of us was to leave this couch…“ – Bill interrupting: “… we would be a lot more comfortable” – everyone laughing, Michael continuing: “Yeah, but we would not be R.E.M. anymore.” They carried on, as a “three legged dog”, and they ran a long way.  I try to see the 14 years since 1997 as an encore, so that the end doesn’t hurt as much. Without R.E.M., I might never have seen the beauty of the South, the red dirt, the kudzu, the gargoyles, the dreamlike afternoon sun on a front porch. The blurry dreams and myths. (See also: “It’s a Man Ray kind of sky…”, “Take a picture here, take a souvenir…”)

“We are young despite the years / We are concern / We are hope despite the times”

The Reagan years, the Bush years: While the American dream turned out to be a nightmare every now and then, R.E.M. tried to keep at least some of it alive. First by being active in the Athens community, then by saying sorry for the president and campaigning for “Vote For Change”. They always spoke their mind and didn’t care if lighter headed people thought they were way too serious. If you get the chance to be listened to, speak. If you get the chance to help, spend some time and money. If you happen to be a rock star, don’t be a stupid one. (See also: “Let’s put our heads together and start a new country up…” or “The only thing to fear is fearlessness”. And of course: “Try to tell us something we don’t know”. Or sometimes: “I feel better having screamed. Don’t you?”)

“Hey kids, rock and roll/ Nobody tells you where to go”

You can make lots of mistakes when you start a band. Peter Buck knew that, and he prevented R.E.M. from making a major one: splitting up copyrights. “All songs by (Berry,) Buck, Mills and Stipe” – that’s it on all R.E.M. records. They shared the credits, so no fighting about certain songs and royalties necessary. Nobody feels left behind, everyone is equal. (Which is of course easier when you have four talented guys and not just one or two.) So modesty is a good idea, but what else helps you making the right decisions? Mike Mills once said that R.E.M. first agree on all the things they do NOT want to do (commercials, sponsoring, trading credibility for heaps of money) – and then see what’s left. Enough apparently. Their egos never exploded, they kept their private lives to themselves as much as possible – and they kept their dignity. Or as Buck said: “If we were sleazebags we’d have a lot more fun. But you have to be stupid to live with it.” (See also: “This star thing, I don’t get it”, “I’m not commodity”)

“If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you’re not alone”

It’s embarrassing to join a fan club if you are not 15 anymore. Even more so if you are a music journalist. But with R.E.M., it was just too good a deal to miss it. Send twelve dollars to Athens, get newsletters, special admission to concerts and most of all: the famous Christmas parcel with cards and calendars and stickers and a single every year – weird cover versions, Christmas songs, always a fun surprise. I suspect that all that cost more than my twelve dollars a year, but then again R.E.M. could afford to give presents to their fans. It’s just that I don’t know many other bands that do the same thing (apart from Pearl Jam). And not that many bands treat their fans with as much respect, even the weirdos. And R.E.M. attracted lots of weirdos, naturally.

“I’ll trip, fall, pick myself up and walk unafraid /  I’ll be clumsy instead”

Some people feel comfortable in their skin, they move through life with ease, confident and calm. I am not one of them. So for me, it was always a relief to know that you don’t have to be super cool to be a success on your own terms. You can look like R.E.M. did in the beginning (glasses, bad hair, silly clothes)  and still make it. You can behave like a nerd and become one of the greatest front men in rock music. You can wear a pyjama and turn into a rock star. It was absolutely unlikely that these four guys from Athens would be called the “best rock band in the world” by Rolling Stone one day, but that is exactly what makes them so irresistible to geeks and freaks around the world: They proved it’s possible. With talent and intelligence and stamina. (See also: “Perfect is a fault, and fault lines change…”, “Living Well Is The Best Revenge”, “You’re only as big as your battles”)

“Pick up here and chase the ride / The river empties to the tide / All of this is coming your way”

Of course all the decisions and the stubbornness, the ideals and the kindness wouldn’t amount to much if it wasn’t for the songs. All the wonderful, heartbreakingly beautiful songs. There is not one other band that I can always listen to, regardless of my mood. R.E.M. can soothe me, comfort me, and lots more. They can be uplifting and saddening and invigorating and hopeful. And they are never ever boring. You will always find something curious in the background, you will suddenly see a lyric in a different way, you will discover a new meaning. Some lines stick with you for the rest of your life (like “Not every one can carry the weight of the world”), some others you will never understand at all (“Gardening At Night” anyone?). There is a beauty in R.E.M. that escapes every description, it’s joy and wonder. (See also: “Music will provide the light you cannot resist” and countless others – “eviscerate your memory…”)

“Every day is yours to win/ And that’s how heroes are made”

As Lester Bangs once wrote: “It’s tough having heroes. It’s the hardest thing in the world. It’s harder than being a hero.” Because you have to live with the constant fear that they might disappoint you. Which R.E.M never did, not really. Okay, so for an hour or two I felt like they let me down by calling it quits, just like that. But then I remembered that this is the one band that is obviously not able to do something if they can’t commit themselves to it 100 percent. And if they can’t continue as R.E.M. right now, hats off to them for being brave enough to admit it. They have been in R.E.M. all their adult lives, so who am I to complain about having to live without them?

It’s not like years ago. By now I have made my own sense, I don’t need R.E.M. anymore. I just loved having them around, and I will miss them. Not as heroes, but as musicians, people, allies.

“Now is greater than the whole of the past.”